Usually I'm the type of person that can roll with the punches, the type of person who really doesn't get overwhelmed with stress and everyday problems. Usually. I made the mistake of being overly ambitious when going back to school and registering for ... FIVE classes. Mind you, I have a "day job" that requires 40 hours a week. Oh and let me mention that my program at school requires 70 hours of volunteer work before I can begin my 3rd year (please note the oxymoron known as "required volunteer work").
Anywho ... Things were going ok with school and work. No major issues; I was just busier than usual. Then all at once (or so it seemed) I was bombarded .... the deadline for my 25 page paper, a midterm, an interview/paper assignment, special projects at work, my roommate/friend's ED trip in the middle of the night, the class food drive that I seemed to be running by myself .... and thus I finally got to learn what it meant to be burnt out. I was paralyzed with overwhelming responsibility - I literally could not start one single thing because the task as a whole seemed far too large. For the first time I was stuck. I was overwhelmed to my breaking point. I was feeling the physical manifestations of my stress.
It's amazing how aware you become of every little stressor when you're at your last nerve. Actually, I can feel my chest tightening as I'm typing just at the thought of everything. Every little thing becomes something that you have to dig deep to cope with it. Not a place I like to be.
Ok and to top it all off with a big bow ... I feel an enormous amount of pressure to get married and have kids. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND!! My mother is just desperate for grandkids. And recently my grandma has jumped on the bandwagon of of pushing the issue. In the last two weeks I've had two (no make that three) instances of harrassment. The first one was when my mother had her friend tell me all about a lady she knows who is "50 and lonely because she was too picky." I told my mother that the next time she's going to have someone give me a lecture about not being picky - make sure she picks a messenger that I'd respect relationship advice from and not from someone that both my mother and I think is crazy for marrying the person she did. (perhaps I should've given her the 'be picky' pep talk) The second blow came from my grandma. I innocently called her to say happy birthday. We then got on the subject of age and her comment was "I keep holding on waiting for you to get married" ... Well ... I guess its flattering to know that I"m her reason for living these days. And last but certainly not least - I can't remember who - but SOMEONE thought they should remind me that women have a predetermined number of eggs so I better have kids before I lose all of my eggs via period and not via child rearing. WHO SAYS THAT!?!?!
... man, I think I need some prozac (jk)
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