Two Prospective Paths - One Life

A recurring source of pressure for me is (drum roll) ... my mother. I am her only child, thus her only source for grandchildren and so far I've given her (drum roll) ... zero! Would you believe me if I told you she has bought these unborn children gifts already? I wish I were kidding. I think the first time she did it was about 8 years ago. She got this really nice book of fairy tales (oh the irony). She's since bought things like clothes, a blanky, and a stuffed animal. Oh, and I also must mention that in the last 2 years both her and my grandmother have taken up the hobby of telling me that I'm never going to get married. Gotta love family :)

Now, I used to let this go in one ear and out the other because I really do want to get married and have a big family. In fact, I've known since at least high school that I've wanted to have 3 or more kids. I've been able to let this go in one ear and out the other because its not for a lack of finding someone willing to marry me that I'm still single ... it's for a lack of finding someone I WANT to marry. As much as I want to have a husband and kids, I'd rather know that I'm making the right choice with the right person. It isn't always easy to ignore the fact that MANY of my friends have made the trip down the aisle and/or been in the delivery room. The (un)fortunate (depending on who you ask) thing is that I've been so patient in not conforming to what society/family/friends think I should have accomplished by my age - that I'm able to see that those who did fold in the face of pressure didn't necessarily make a wise choice. My peers have been plagued with a divorce (or two), have children that they love but resent, or chose a major in college that they weren't sure about and now have a wasted degree.

Today I was confronted with another realization. Maybe it's not that I haven't met the right person yet ... because I'm really not meant to settle down. My feet can be so far from being planted sometimes - even when I think long term. Career-wise, I've finally made the right choice for me in going back to school for social work. The thing is, with this career I can do so many things and go so many places ... and this is SO appealing to me. Initially I was drawn to the prospect of helping others and giving back. Add to that the fact that I can travel to other countries for various projects and I'm 100% sold. I'd love to take 6 months and go to Africa ... maybe after that go to Greece ... or Paris ...or somewhere in South America. How on Earth do I do that with a husband? Hypothetically speaking lets say I meet someone next year and we want to get married - and we plan on having kids in 5 years. Is it realistic that I will find someone who is willing (and able) to be dragged around the globe? Someone who thinks it would be awesome to do outreach programs in strange foreign lands? Hmmm I'm thinking no on that one.

Just so I'm clear, I'm not saying that I don't think I'm cut out for marriage (like my mother seems to think). At this point in my life I'm just not cut out for the traditional "white picket fence, two car garage, 2 kids, and a dog" thing. I'm ready for a "yes I want to spend the rest of my life with you and have kids in a couple years - but right now wouldn't it be awesome if we could see new places together and make a difference in the lives of others". That's not asking for too much is it? :)